The Search for Szechuan
by TFSyndicate
Summary: Rick finally found dimension with the sacred sauce! Now he just needs to get it. (NOTE: Beware of mind-screwing over-explanations throughout.)


The portal gun fired, a portal opening on the garage door.  
"Look what I found, Morty!" said Rick, "Dimension C-1998M! If my calculations are right, this is the diURRPmension where it's _always_ 1998, at around the release of the Disney film _Mulan_!"  
"What's so special about going back to 1998 at around the release of _Mulan_?" said Morty.  
"This is my chance of getting to that McDonalds Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty!"  
"Aw geez. I was afraid you were gonna say that, Rick."  
Rick began to step through the portal. Morty, though hesitant, followed.  
"Let's go, Morty. This'll take twenty minutes tops. URRP"

They found themselves right in front of a 90's-style McDonalds. Rick started for the front door, but Morty quickly cut in front of him.  
"Hey, Rick, maybe you should let me do the talking," he said, "I mean, wa...wa...what if you only manage to screw things up, you know?"  
"Relax, Morty," insisted Rick, "I assure you, this isn't gonna be _that_ long."  
But as soon as they approached the counter, the cashier took only one look at Rick's face before screaming and running off to the manager's office.  
"Geez," said Morty, "I thought you said you just found this place."  
"Yeah, well, looks like I'm not the first version of me to show up."  
The manager appeared from his office door, alongside the cashier, and approached the cash register where Rick and Morty were standing.  
"Ah yes. Mr. Sanchez."  
"What the...? What's going on here?" said Rick, "I just want some Chicken McNuggets and some Szechuan sauce."  
"I'm sorry sir," said the manager, "But you're on our blacklist. We're not allowed to serve you."  
Rick's face began to turn red. All signs pointed to a Rick from another dimension.  
"YOU AIN'T SEEN THE F*****G LAST OF ME!" Rick yelled.  
Morty face-palmed.  
"I'm afraid I'm gonna need to ask you to leave," said the manager.  
Rick, with no other option, and no other weapon besides his portal gun and a smartphone, turned around and walked toward the door. Morty stayed at the counter.  
"Uhhh...I'm not with him," said Morty.  
"Nice try, kid. We've decided to refuse service to _everybody_ from alternate dimensions."

Morty joined Rick outside.  
"Any lURRPck?" said Rick.  
"They wouldn't serve me either," said Morty, "It's like in Michigan where they won't give you ten-cents for out-of-state bottles."  
" _That_ bad, huh?"  
Rick had his hand down a garbage can, in search of near-empty sauce containers. He found one, but it was empty. And it wasn't Szechuan.  
Then Morty said "I got an idea! How old was Mom in 1998?"  
"Around URRPfourteen."  
"What time is it?"  
Rick looked at his smartphone-it's around the same time as it was in their home dimension-"Almost 2:30."  
"How about we wait for her by her old school, a...a...and then ask her if she wants to get us some McNuggets! Uhh...didn't she go through a McDonalds phase at around this time?"  
"Holy c***, Morty! You're right! An...And since this was around the time I was gone, that should be a pleasant surprise for Beth! That's using your brain, Morty! I'm proud of you." Rick gave Morty a much-deserved noogie.

"BETH! Sweetie!"  
Rick spotted teen!Beth the moment she walked out of the school for the day. For 90's!Beth, it took her a while to figure out who that old guy was, but then she spotted his iconic unibrow and knew exactly who it was. For Morty, he was surprised at how hot Beth looked at age 14. And since this was a dimension where it was _always_ 1998, she could, theoretically, stay like that forever. Morty started thinking of what would happen if this Beth met his Beth, and eventually got a little zoned out and aroused.  
"Dad?" said 90's!Beth, "DAD!"  
90's!Beth ran up to Rick and gave him a hug.  
"I haven't seen you in years," she said, "Where have you been?"  
This was dimension where every year was 1998, and yet Beth was acting like last year was 1997 (even though she was aware that last year was 98 also). In other words, she never really _met_ her Rick. Rick decided to act like he belonged in this dimension.  
"Around the world and back again, honey," he said "I was thinking of you all the way."  
Rick hugged her alternate dimension daughter. They let go, and 90's!Beth looked over at Morty.  
"Who's this?" she asked.  
"Oh," said Rick, "I've been working on (ahem) time travel a lot and, uh...the-thi-this is your future son, Morty. He's become one hell of a sidekick."  
Morty, snapped out of his zoning out, shook hands with 90's!Beth. He didn't care that Rick lied about the time travel bit. He didn't believe in that stuff anyway: they do dimensional travel, and to Morty, it was all right, as this wasn't his _real_ mother, and saying to her that he was her 'future son' wouldn't have any effect in the space-time continuum. In C-1998M, because it's 1998 eon-round, nobody is born, nobody dies, nobody gets pregnant, because everybody is the age they were when they were living in 1998 in any other dimension.  
"Ha...ha...Hi," said Morty.  
There was a long pause, Rick, Morty and 90's!Beth waiting to be first to say something next.  
Rick finally decided to be the one to break the ice.  
"So...McDonalds?"  
"How did you know?"

Back at the McDonalds, Rick and Morty sat in his family's 1998 car while 90's!Beth went inside.  
"You sure this is gonna work, Rick?" said Morty.  
"Are you kidding? She _loves_ the Szechuan sauce as much as _I_ do! I just told her to get double of what she URRPusually gets, which I can imagine is a lot to begin with."  
"O-O-Okay. I just hope they don't ban _her_."  
Fortunately, 90's!Beth came out with the grub. _Un_ fortunately, an unfortunately familiar looking man emerged from one of the employee entrances in the back. It was the manager! Rick immediately started the ignition on the car, and as soon as 90's!Beth was inside, they were all off.  
At last, 90's!Beth was back home. Not surprisingly, it didn't look anything different from Rick and Morty's home.  
"WoahURRP, that was _close_!" said Rick.  
"I take it those McDonalds people don't take kindly to you," said 90's!Beth.  
"You have _no_ idea..."  
"Well, here's your half of the food, Dad."  
Rick took the extra McDonalds bag from 90's!Beth. They hugged again, then Rick began to part ways by opening up a portal.  
"Will you come back again?"  
"I can come back anytime I want to, honey."  
"Don't worry about him...Mom," said Morty, a little awkward after saying that last line, "Just do well in school a...a...and make everybody proud."  
"Goodbye, Morty." Now it was Morty's turn to be hugged by 90's!Beth.

For both Rick _and_ Morty, this adventure was one for the ages. They will cherish every last drop of that Szechuan sauce, until they run out and go back to get some more (provided, of course, that 90's!Beth wasn't on the McDonalds blacklist).


End file.
